Picking out the perfect maid of honor can be difficult, because there are a lot of things to consider. The maid of honor, after all, is more than just someone you pick to stand up with you. The person you choose has a lot of responsibility. Plus, these days, women are also choosing close male friends and family members to stand up with them. Even gender is secondary to some of the important qualities this vital member of the wedding party must have. As such, here are 8 tips on choosing a maid of honor.
1. Know the Maid of Honor's Role
Some brides don't understand exactly what the maid of honor is supposed to do, so it's important that you start there. Your maid of honor isn't just a figurehead. He or she also takes care of the bride, helps you with numerous tasks, and takes on a huge role between the scenes. Understanding what's expected of your maid of honor is important because it can have a tremendous effect on whom you choose.
2. Don't Feel Compelled to Choose Family
A lot of brides feel like they have to choose a family member to be their maid of honor. They feel it has to be a sister, a cousin, a brother, or something like that. However, that's not true at all. You don't have to feel compelled to choose a family member, unless he or she is the best person for the job.
3. Consider His/her Location
If you are going to have to rely on your maid of honor a lot, you don't necessarily want to choose someone who lives far away from you. Unless the distant friend or family member you want is able to spend a significant amount of time where you are, you may want to choose someone closer to home. There's only so much a person can do from a distance.
4. Choose Someone Dependable
Naturally, you need to be able to depend on your maid of honor. You may have a close friend you really love, but he or she might not be the most dependable person in the world. This is your wedding, and if you need help, don't be afraid to choose someone else, someone on whom you can depend.
5. Choose Someone Responsible
Dependability and responsibility go hand in hand. This ties in with knowing the actual role of your maid of honor. You need to choose someone who is highly responsible, someone who can be trusted to take charge when it's necessary. Don't choose someone on whom you can't rely, otherwise a lot of things can go wrong.
6. Make Sure You Can Be Honest
You also have to choose someone with whom you can be completely honest. The maid of honor is someone to whom you can vent if you need to, as well, and he or she needs to be able to handle your honest opinions. At the same time, you also need to choose someone who can be completely honest with you, even if he or she has to say something you don't necessarily want to hear.
7. Have Realistic Expectations
No matter the role of a maid of honor, everyone has limitations. If you choose someone you know isn't always dependable or responsible, then you can't expect too much. If you know going into it that your maid of honor has flaws or limitations, then you can't expect him or her to completely change and be perfect.
8. Make Sure You Get along
It goes without saying that you have to get along with your maid of honor. The two of you are going to be spending a lot of time together, and much of it can be frustrating. That's why it's important that you don't always give into expectations and choose someone just because everyone else expects you to do so.
Your maid of honor is a really important part of your wedding, both in the ceremony and behind the scenes. You have to make sure you pick the right person for the job. What do or did you expect from your maid of honor?
Top Photo Credit: Catherine A