If you have a fear of family taking over your wedding, this article is for you. The truth is that this happens with many weddings and can ruin your perfect day. These tips can help you make sure it doesn’t happen to you. These are tips of prevention or tips to deal with family taking over your wedding in the heat of the moment.
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1. Allow Them to Speak Their Mind
Allow your family to speak their mind. Notice I did not say that you need to follow any of their advice; simply allow them to give it. Giving you advice makes your family feel important and like they are contributing. Allowing them to have their say before the wedding can save you from dealing with family taking over your wedding when the big day actually arrives. Some people just want to be heard.
It's vital, however, to establish boundaries while you encourage open dialogue. Listen with grace, understanding that their ideas stem from love and excitement. But be steadfast in your vision for your special day. If suggestions align with your plans, great; if not, thank them for their input but politely explain that you've already made a decision that suits you and your partner. This balanced approach acknowledges their feelings without compromising your own dreams for your wedding.
2. Thank Them for Their Advice
If you thank your family for their advice, they will feel like you appreciate it. You can do this even if you have no intention of taking any of it. You don’t have to follow it. Just listen and tell them thank you. It makes them feel like they gave you a gift and you can go on your merry way, doing exactly what you intended to do all along.
Acknowledging sage words from loved ones keeps the peace and feeds their desire to contribute. A heartfelt “I value your perspective,” goes a long way. Remember, it’s the thought that counts, and by expressing gratitude, you honor their intent without compromising your vision. So offer a sincere smile and a gentle nod, then, with grace and tact, proceed with the plan you and your partner cherish. This subtle diplomacy is a bridal art form, ensuring everyone feels heard while you retain the reins of your special day.
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3. Find Their Area of Expertise and Use It
Here is the scenario you are facing. Your family wants to have a part in your wedding. You want to keep your wedding under your control which is the way it should be. Sometimes, you can keep things sailing smoothly by finding an area of expertise for that family member that is determined to help. If you have an aunt that is very talented at cooking, why not allow her to make a dish or two that is her specialty? The point is that you allow them to help on your terms so they do not have the opportunity to take over.
For instance, if you have a cousin with a knack for floral arrangements, involve them in the decision-making for the centerpieces or bouquets. This can simultaneously relieve some of your planning burden while making them feel like a special contributor. Remember to communicate clearly about your vision and preferences to ensure they understand your boundaries. This strategy not only appreciates their skills but also keeps everyone engaged in a positive and respectful manner. After all, the goal is to blend family inclusion with the assurance that your big day reflects your personal style.
4. Involve Them
Usually, a family member that attempts to take over just wants to be involved. So as much as you can tolerate, involve them. Ask their opinion on invitations or ask them to help you by taking snapshots of your guests enjoying themselves at your wedding. Find a job for them to do, even if it is helping with cleanup. More than likely they will care more about being involved than what it is they are actually doing.
5. Invite Them along
Sometimes a family member that tries to take over is just lonely. They may have too much time on their hands. Sometimes you can fix both issues by inviting them along on some wedding errands. It gives them something to do and a way to be involved without being front and center. Let them help you prepare for your wedding shower or ask them if they would keep a list for you of thank you notes you need to write at your shower. Take them along when you shop for shoes for the big day; the point is you are inviting them on small little errands to keep their nose out of the big stuff.
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6. Make Them Someone else’s Problem
Sometimes, despite your best efforts to deal with your family member in a nice way, it doesn’t work. You can try to involve them and find a place for them to help you but they aren’t satisfied with that. When that is the situation you are dealing with, you may have to just let them be someone else’s problem. Talk to someone close to both of you about what you are dealing with and ask them if they can please help you to deal with a that family member that attempts to take over. Maybe they can explain things in a way your family member will understand and save you the trouble of doing it.
7. Confront the Situation
Sometimes you just have to confront the situation head on. This is the only option you have when none of these other options are working for you. When that happens, pull your interfering family member or members off to themselves and explain that while you dearly love them, you’ve got this. Tell them they are welcome but their overbearing interference isn’t. This is a hard thing to say, but you do not want your wedding day to be taken over and that is understandable.
These 7 tips should help you to have a better handle on how to handle that difficult family member or members that try to take over. Do you have a family member like this in your family? Most of us do.
