Are you under pressure to get married? It can be your partner or parents who keep dropping heavy hints about you walking up the aisle, but whoever it is, being pressured to get married is very stressful. But how can you handle the situation with tact? Try these tips if you're under pressure to get married …

1. Never Give in

When you're under pressure to get married, it would be a serious mistake to give in. Both partners have to be 100% into the idea or you're heading for problems. Agreeing to get married just to keep the peace will make you feel resentful in the future. It's also not fair to your partner to marry them if you're not completely committed to both them and the idea of marriage.

2. Already Committed

Many people put pressure on their children to get married because of religious reasons or because they feel children should be born only within a marriage. But whether you decide to have children or not, you can still be just as committed to someone without a legal ceremony. And marrying someone won't cement a shaky relationship, but mess it up for good.

3. When You're Ready

Even if you do want to get married, the time may not be right for you just yet. Tell people you'll get married only if and when you're ready. Emotional blackmail may be used, and that's not on. If that happens to you, tell them you understand they feel that way, but you have to do what's right for you.

4. Different Views

Sometimes you get pressured to tie the knot when you just don't have any interest in the idea. If so, explain calmly that you hold different views on the subject and you can't get married just to please someone else. Tell them that you respect their views, but that those are their views, and you're equally entitled to have your own opinions - which may be different.

5. Being Sure

Nobody gets married thinking that it will fail. They certainly don't figure that they can always get divorced if it doesn't work out. But one thing you do need is to be absolutely sure that marriage is for you, and that you have picked the right person. So tell pressuring parents or partners that you need to be sure. Someone who loves you should understand.

6. Stressful

If people put you under pressure it's very stressful. Even gentle hints about mother of the bride outfits and wedding venues can get irritating if heard often enough. Ask them to stop because it's stressing you. It's more complicated when your partner is the one pressuring you, but try to explain that although you are not ready or don't want to get married, you still love them.

7. Divorce Statistics

Finally, you may have to be blunt and point out that divorce statistics are pretty high. A massive 50% of US marriages fail, and some of the rest must be miserable as well. So marriage doesn't guarantee that a relationship will last any longer than an unmarried one.

Marrying someone you love is a wonderful experience, but you can't get married to please someone else. You must be completely into the idea, and confident that you have found the right person for you. Have you ever been pressured into doing something that you knew was a mistake?

Feedback Junction

Where Thoughts and Opinions Converge

H
2022-01-27T01:38:57.919Z
#2 Yes, don’t pressure your kids to get married if they are not in love, not ready for marriage or just not ready to commit to that person yet. You are not helping them get secure in life or any of those other excuses you give. YOU ARE TRYING TO MAKE SOMEONE DO SOMETHING THRY ALREADY TOLD YOU THEY ARE NOT COMFORTABLE DOING. In this case that means tying them to someone else for the REST OF THEIR LIFE. Just stop. Please. This kind of pressure is cruel and it is not fair to either party involved.
H
2022-01-27T01:33:08.605Z
#1 I made it very clear from the start that I was not interested in being in a relationship. A guy I barely knew asked me to go to a school dance. I wasn’t interested in the dance either, and he said neither was he - he just knew we shared similar interests and wanted to get to know me, and suggested a movie instead. I said thst was fine and made it clear I wasn’t interested in a relationship as more than friends. He, on the other hand, harbored a secret crush and thought he could change my mind. He started ingratiating himself with my friends and my parents. Nothing I said made a difference to anyone! I told him AGAIN AND AGAIN that I dodn’t want to see him anymore. He would start crying and pleading. I woukd just leave, but he would immediately call my mom or a friend , cry on them and beg them to intercede. It took a whole year to get rid of him, and that only worked because I graduated and was able to move away! It still makes me so angry just to remember it because all my other relationships were damaged as a result. My oarents wanted me to be in a relationship so bad that they invited him to family gatherings behind my back “we just thought we’d give you a little push to help you out” and so fid my friends. He “just happened to be there too” at every party, event or trip to the mall or pizza joint, with that hopeful puppy face. It was so frustrating because I was screaming at people who refused to listen to me and didn’t care how I felt. PLEASE don’t do this to your friend or family member. You are NOT helping them, you’re trying to make them do something they already told you they do not want. This will not make them happy. I grew to flat-out hate that guy, didn’t trust my parents anymore and damaged and ended friendships. My telatiinship with my mother in particulsr never recovered.