So I’ve spent about a year and a half being my best friend’s Maid Of Honor, and with that I’ve picked up on a few tips, so I’ve created a list of the 7 things you should know about being a bridesmaid that (that you probably don’t). I don’t promise to be an expert, but I’ve definitely had my fair share of learning experiences. I hope my list of the 7 things you should know about being a bridesmaid helps mitigate some shock and surprise.
So your friend/family member just asked you to be in their wedding. Before you say yes, you should really take some time to think it through. There’s a lot that goes into a wedding, and when you’re a part of the bridal party there is a lot of responsibility. There is also a lot of money, time, and effort involved. From the time you agree to be in the bridal party till the honeymoon, your focus is not on yourself, but the bride. With the brides that I’ve talked to, they’d rather have a friend say they couldn’t be in the wedding, than say yes and be an awful bridesmaid. Sorry kittens, not all bridal showers give away free Golden Retriever puppies as favors. Consider all of this while you're thinking of being a bridesmaid.
Once you agree to be in the bridal party it’s not about whether you agree with something, it’s if the bride does. It’s her day, not yours. Now, some brides are understanding when it comes to budgets, body types, and comfort zones. These are also things you may be able to KINDLY discuss with the bride at the BEGINNING of wedding planning. But if the bride REALLY wants everyone to wear her favorite color (sage green), it doesn’t matter if you think green makes you look like baby vomit. It’s kinda like when Ariel signed her contract with Ursula. Except with more pink and less octopi.
Three out of four brides WILL want their maids professionally made up. Wedding photography is expensive, and the pictures last a lifetime. Every bride wants to make sure her wedding party looks amazing, and most of them know that’s not going to come without professional work. It doesn’t matter if you don’t own mascara, and think mousse is something that pees in the woods of Maine. Some brides may offer to pay for these services, but usually it’s up to the wedding party. "I can do it myself" is not acceptable.
Take your budget and double or triple it. I guarantee you will pay more than you expected, especially the larger the bridal party is. You can plan this out all you want at the beginning of the process, but there WILL be extra fees and charges, especially when it comes to events like the bridal shower and bachelorette party, where it’s suddenly up to a group of women to decide on one of many ideas and price ranges. Alterations, bridal party favors, and bachelorette events are just a few fees not typically thought of beforehand. Remember that scene in Bridesmaids, where Annie is getting roped into paying that exorbitant fee for the bridesmaid dress? It can be a lot like that, a huge and expensive orchestrated stage musical.
I’m going to make this one easy for you. You will need to schedule out a lot of time for your bridesmaid duties. Time for the wedding, bridal events, and separate girls' days. In the grand scheme of a year, it’s really not that much. But you won’t believe the stories I’ve heard of MIA bridesmaids. You have to pull your own weight when it comes to planning events, putting them together, and attending them. You do not want to be THAT girl.
Like any event where a group of women are expected to work together as a team, there will be drama. It’s not that we can’t work together and rule the world, it’s just that our male dominated society makes us naturally turn on each other, therefore drama. I would like all of you in wedding parties to remember this: IT IS NOT YOUR WEDDING. The bride is going to be freaking out at any given moment (I mean who getting married wouldn’t?), and you all should be HER therapist. Even the closest of friends will show their true colors during this time, but you must remember that it’s not about them. You have to focus your energy on keeping the bride stress-free. She picked you to be in her bridal party because she thought you’d be fun and supportive during one of the most stressful times in her life (now prove it).
I know that these last tips can sound like I’m anti-wedding party, but that is so far from the truth. In fact I loved being in my best friend’s wedding. There are a lot of times to truly bond, and make new friends. The memories you make are once in a lifetime. Plus with events like the bachelorette party, you will learn more about the other girls than you ever expected. And just try to tell me that won’t make you all close! You may actually miss all that secret scheming and planning with your bridesmaid friends, but don’t worry; you have all thosephotos of the perfectly coiffed you together on the wedding day!
So I hope my list was a bit helpful, while you decide on your answer to being in your friend’s wedding. For every bit of stress, there will be a good amount of fun. Or maybe fit in a massage as an activity at the bachelorette party. What did you think of this list, and being bridesmaid?
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