All Women's Talk

7 Reasons Youve Got Cold Feet before Your Wedding ...

By Kati

Did you get cold feet before your wedding? Whether you’ve been looking forward to your big day since you were a little girl or you didn’t really think about it until your other half popped the question, getting married is undeniably a big event. Not only are you making a lifetime commitment to your relationship, but you’ve got a whole day planned, and family and friends often travel from miles away to attend. Wedding jitters don’t signify a disaster, though – here are the top reasons for getting cold feet before your wedding.

Table of contents:

  1. The right person…
  2. What if it’s a disaster…
  3. Hidden motives…
  4. Did i pick the right dress…
  5. Am i ready…
  6. Family problems…
  7. The end…

1 The Right Person…

Having a last minute doubt about whether you are marrying the right person? It’s a lot more common than you think. Some people feel the need to contact all their past partners before their marriage, and some quietly worry that they’ve chosen the wrong person. It might feel crazy, but in reality, this is a totally normal reason for getting cold feet before your wedding. You are about to commit to spend the rest of your life with this person, to love them and look after them forever. Simply ask yourself if you love your partner, and if you want to grow old with them. If the answer is yes, you are likely to be fine.

2 What if It’s a Disaster…

It might seem a crazy worry, but a lot of people find themselves worrying about the actual wedding day itself. Will everyone turn up? Is there enough champagne? What if it rains? Will the bridesmaids look okay? Next time you find yourself worrying, tell yourself that everything is planned, and that worrying won’t change anything. At the end of the day, even if your entertainers get lost, you’ll have had an amazing day, got married and seen your loved ones. You’ll take it all in your stride – but most weddings go exactly to plan.

3 Hidden Motives…

Wondering why you want to get married? Or worst, why your other half does? Most marriages are based on love, and wanting to make a livelong commitment to each other, but these don’t have to be exclusive. Some people also get married for the legal status, or to protect their children. Some people marry for financial reasons. These are no real issue, as long as they are underpinned by love, and a desire to be together forever. If your reason is to do with not wanting to be alone, loneliness or not being the last one to get married, it might be time to reassess.

4 Did I Pick the Right Dress…

Worried about the style elements of your wedding? You’re not the only one. More and more brides are investing in multiple dresses to give themselves a choice, and dieting down to fit into a dress isn’t uncommon. What’s important to remember is that if you love your dress, you’ll look amazing. There’s something oh-so-stunning about a woman getting married, whatever she’s wearing. That loved up glow will make you look amazing. Trust me.

5 Am I Ready…

Proposals are amazing. Whether they are carefully planned or completely spontaneous, there is nothing quite like being shocked with a ring, and that intoxicating love that surrounds proposals! So it’s okay if your wedding is pretty much planned before you start wondering if you are actually ready to get married. You might think you are too young, not stable enough, not ready to commit to that level. Think about it carefully. Separate out the nerves, and ask yourself honestly if you want to spend the rest of your life with that person, and if you are completely happy with the relationship. If the answer is yes, you are probably ready. If you can’t decide, consider having a long engagement.

6 Family Problems…

Families are amazing, but they cause more than their fair share of problems. It might be family rifts that cause problems with the seating plan, or it might be that your family doesn’t approve of your new partner. You could be worried about your siblings and your partner's mum, or your aunt and her boisterous children…there’s just so much that could go wrong! Take a breath and remember that your family will want you to be happy. Talking to those in question and telling them that your partner makes you happy and that you’d appreciate good behavior and acceptance can relieve tension and reassure you that it’ll be okay.

7 The End…

Seeing your marriage as something sad, rather than something happy? This frequently happens to people who are scared of change, or whose weddings will signify a big change, such as moving countries, or moving away from family. Remind yourself that this is a new beginning, but it won’t change your past. Make plans to see your family and friends, and see your wedding day as the next step in your plan. If you’ve got cold feet before your wedding about the change, just try to reconcile it in your head. You’ll feel much better once you acknowledge and accept the change.

Remember that it can be very easy to confuse excitement and anxiety with wedding jitters – and both are completely normal emotions when planning a big life-changing event! Talking to your partner, and your friends, is likely to help you deal with your emotions and decide if you need to act on them. Did you have cold feet before your wedding? I’d love to know how you dealt with them!

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