1. Hire a Professional Photographer!

One of the most important things to consider when planning your wedding is who is taking the pictures. I know, I know, you know a really good friend who does photography! Let me tell you right now, they will not take you as seriously as they would another client. My best friend’s husband takes and edits videos and photograph and his work at our wedding was for sure not his best quality work. Both of them brought their super fancy, super expensive cameras, and out of all the pictures they took I only really truly like a handful of them. I wish I had just spent the money I spent paying for their hotel and put it towards a photographer and videographer, and I highly recommend you do the same!

2. Prioritize Your Food Plan!

My fiancé and I had a lot going on in our personal life the 9 or so months between our engagement and our wedding, so while the food was talked about, it always took a back seat to things like the décor and where all that needed to go. I knew I wanted turkey pinwheels, but other than that, I had no plans, and it showed when the wedding finally rolled around. All we had were the turkey pinwheels my fiancé and I made some chicken salad cream puffs and a vegetable tray. Which, if all you are planning is light refreshments is fine, but for me, it was a detail that very much got overlooked and I wish I could go back and do more food. So prioritize your food plan! Your guests will be much happier and so will you!

3. Fuck Everyone else and Their Feelings

Okay, this one is a real struggle for anyone that has ever talked about getting married. Your mom wants this, their mom wants that, but neither of the people getting married wants anything to do with it. This is a time old conundrum with weddings. And I, along with so many other people will tell you, fuck what everyone else wants. What do you and your fiancé want? Do that. Because at the end of the day, this is your wedding, and you’re the one who has to look back on it in twenty years and be happy with it. Luckily for me, my in-laws didn’t care what we did, they just needed to know the when, where and what they needed to do.

4. Don’t Pick Willy-Nilly

When picking your wedding party, really take the time and consider this. These people will be in your wedding photos for time and all eternity. I have only been married since May and I only talk to one of my bridesmaids now, who isn’t my sister. Don’t pick the people you are currently having the most fun with, pick the people you’ve consistently had fun with over the years of your life. Weddings are a stressful time, and honestly a lot of times, people get jealous of the things you have that they do not. And sometimes, people can’t handle when things aren’t about them, and they ultimately don’t get the final say. So just remember these things when making the final choices. Because you don’t want to look back and be mad at the pictures.

5. Be Sure to Crank the Music

Don’t hesitate to play that funky music! Play it loud, play it proud! There will be so much commotion and talking, so you will need to turn the music up a fair amount to make sure the playlist you spent time agonizing over is heard.

6. Get That Butt on the Dance Floor

I am sad to say there was not much dancing at my wedding, so it seemed like everyone was bored. We had our first dance, mother/son dance, and daughter/cousin dance, (my dad passed away two weeks after my engagement, but we still wanted to have that special moment.) But other than that, there was not much dancing. I think most were nervous to get out there, and the space was small. So I definitely recommend getting a venue with a large enough space for dancing, and your guests will love you for it!

7. Don’t Even Bother with Parting Gifts

Let’s be real here, they are going to get left in the car of your guests for months on end until they finally just toss them out. People are supposed to be buying you gifts, not the other way around! Use your money elsewhere, forget thank you gifts!

8. Remember Lost Loved Ones

A lot of people don’t like the idea of talking about death, especially on days like wedding days where it is all supposed to be cheeriness, but if you want to, it is okay.

Like I mentioned previously, my dad died, very unexpectedly, two weeks after my engagement. My mom died three and a half years before that, and my sister about thirteen years before that, and also all of my grandparents. My husband lost his aunt and an uncle as well. We did not make a big deal of it, but we honored them in small, but meaningful ways. Our ceremony started with a moment of silence in remembrance of them, and in the entryway of the reception space, we had pictures of all we lost. Others place roses on chairs that should be filled and place a picture of the one who should be there. Whatever you need to do to help you feel as though they are still there to celebrate with you.

9. Most Important, Be Tuned in

Live in the moment, take mental pictures and check in with yourself. You are marrying the love of your life. Look around at all the people who are there supporting you, loving you, and celebrating your love. Smile, cry, laugh, be fully invested in the day. Because no matter what happens, even if it doesn’t all go perfect, you still win, because you have married the person you were meant to be with.