You might think finding ways to avoid family fights at your wedding should be unnecessary. That's right, it should be. But families being families, weddings aren't always the joyful occasions they should be. Perhaps because of the emotions involved, hidden resentment and feuds can come to the surface and risk ruining your big day. If your aunties hate your mom, or your jealous cousin keeps criticising your fiancé, try these ways to avoid family fights at your wedding …
Table of contents:
- remind them it's your day
- keep trouble apart
- fund it yourself
- be firm
1 Remind Them It's Your Day
One of the ways to avoid family fights is to remind all involved just what the occasion is. It's your wedding. Your wedding. It's not a suitable occasion for bitching, and you should be able to invite who you want, and not have to worry about keeping family enemies away from each other. If people don't get on, they can make an effort for the few hours they'll be in each other's company.
2 Keep Trouble Apart
If you know that certain guests are likely to clash, try to keep them apart. This could involve giving them tasks that will keep them away from each other. A little creative juggling with the seating plan will ensure that they are on opposite sides of the room (and hopefully they will stay there).
Remember that you don't have to invite anyone you don't want to attend. This can be the less troublesome option if you know that they will provoke problems. If you want someone at your wedding, but you're worried about the potential for trouble, make it clear that the invitation is dependent on their good behavior. And if they cause any problems in the meantime, the invitation will be withdrawn.
Wedding planning can require the skills of a seasoned diplomat. It can get even more complicated when step-families and remarriages are involved. What do you do if you are close to your father and your stepfather, for example? If you ask one to walk you down the aisle, the other will be offended. The answer is to assign each an important role. Or have both escort you down the aisle!
5 Fund It Yourself
Family fights can often involve money. Parents think that they can dictate the details of your wedding if they're paying for it (or any part of it). Or your sibling resents your wedding costing more. The answer may be to pay for it yourself, even if that means scaling down your plans. That way, nobody can tell you what to do for your wedding.
6 Be Firm
Couples often give in for an easy life or because of emotional blackmail. Perhaps you don't want a religious ceremony, but your churchgoing mother wails that she won't be able to hold her head up in the community if her daughter has a civil ceremony. If you're adamant that you want a civil wedding, be firm and tell her that you have the right to make your own choices.
Sometimes, the easiest option is to simply elope! That's one way of definitely avoiding fights at your wedding - nobody can cause trouble if they're not present! Of course, you will most likely have to deal with arguments before and after the wedding, but better then than ruining your actual wedding …
Families should be full of happiness at your wedding, but sadly are often the cause of squabbles that can ruin your day. Newspapers often feature stories about weddings that go disastrously wrong because of family fights. Have you ever been to a wedding that turned into a fiasco?
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