Lots of us girls grew up dreaming about our wedding day. And by the time we get engaged, we've already planned everything out and hope to bring our wedding vision to life. But before tying the knot, it's important to talk about the "big stuff" with your guy. Marriage is the real deal, and in order to make it work, you've got to be on the same page when it comes to major decisions. Be sure to ask these 7 questions before you officially become a "Mrs."
1. Will We Have Children?
Not everyone sees children in their future. But if you do, make sure the guy you plan to spend the rest of your life with does too. Don't think you will be able to "convince" him to have children down the road. If you're not likely to change your mind about having kids, he isn't either.
2. Will We Have a Joint Checking Account?
One of the top reasons for divorce is disagreements about money. If one of you is a spender and the other is a saver, it can work to your benefit. But have a discussion about whether or not you will have separate accounts, or combine all of your money into a joint account. There are happy couples who do it both ways.
3. Will I Work or Stay Home with the Kids?
If you and your fiance want children, you must decide whether or not to put the kids in childcare, or stay home with them. Sometimes you plan on one thing and because of life changes or circumstances, you go with plan B. But you should at least agree on what the ideal scenario is when it comes to your children's upbringing.
4. Will Religion Be Part of Our Lives?
Even for couples who share the same religion, one is usually more devout than the other. There are also couples who have an inter-faith marriage. You need to talk about what role religion will play in your- and your future children's- lives. Will you go to church/temple together? Will you take the kids? Will you celebrate Christmas AND Hanukkah?
5. Where Will We Live?
Sometimes couples don't live close to family members. And sometimes they live close to only one of their families. It is important that you and your fiance are in agreement on where you'd like to put down your roots. You might not stay there forever, but you need to be on the same page until you've settled down more.
6. What Are Our "sexpectations"?
A good sex life is important for having a good marriage. And if one of you has a much higher sex drive than the other, you should talk about how you can compromise. How many times a week would you like to have sex? What are your deal breakers? Will you use birth control? If so, which method? Let's talk about sex, baby!
7. How Involved Will We Be with Family & Friends?
Some people have great relationships with their loved ones, and some are estranged. For some people, having a busy social life is important. Talk to your fiance and see where you both feel comfortable in terms of family and friend involvement in your lives.
Marriage can be really awesome. It can also bring its share of challenges. You can build a strong foundation for your marriage by asking the "big questions" before you say "I Do." If you've already set the date, have you asked the "big questions" yet?