Having reasons to call off your wedding may sound alarming, but it's better to postpone or cancel a wedding than to regret going through with it. People may ignore warning signs because they're so much in love, or because they're afraid of embarrassment. However, it's wise to be aware of problems before making your vows. Otherwise, an unhappy marriage or a quick divorce may follow. Here are some potential reasons to call off your wedding …
One of the main reasons to call off your wedding is that you feel profoundly unsure about something in your relationship. Perhaps you have doubts as to whether your partner is truly committed to you, or you've been having serious arguments. Or your partner desperately wants children while you are not at all keen on the idea, and they think you will come around.
Listen to your instincts; they are rarely wrong. If your gut feeling is that going through with the wedding would be a mistake, ask yourself why you feel this way. Everyone, if they have any sense, has nerves about getting married. It's a massive commitment. But if you're worrying more than you are looking forward to the wedding, there may be serious problems within your relationship.
Never get married because someone else is pressuring you. Pressure may occur for cultural or religious reasons, or because one partner desperately wants to be married. It can also be social; parents may dislike their children living with their partner, or think that their grandchildren should be born within marriage. You should only get married because you and your partner want to.
Every couple has problems, and it's tempting to put them aside as you get caught up in the excitement of planning a wedding. Make sure that any serious problems are sorted out before you get married though. If you have unresolved issues that could affect your relationship, they won't go away while you choose your dress and send out the invitations. They'll still be there when you return from honeymoon.
Think twice about marrying someone who has cheated on you. Do you really want to tie yourself legally and emotionally to a partner who thinks infidelity is acceptable? Sadly, if they have done it once then they have set a precedent. You can never be sure that they won't repeat the error …
Rushing into marriage is a mistake. Perhaps your partner proposed and you accepted because you were bowled over by the gesture. However, you may be having second thoughts now that the romantic gloss has worn off. Also be wary of getting married because you are pregnant (yes it does still happen in the 21st century …), unless you are completely committed to each other.
They may say opposites attract, but for a successful marriage a couple needs to agree on fundamental issues. If you have dramatically different opinions on important issues and cannot agree on a compromise, then getting married will likely lead to clashes in the future. For example, how to bring up your children, or even whether you both want them, is something you must agree on.
If he thinks you're going to change after you get married, well he better come to terms with reality. Just because you get married doesn't mean you're going to cook dinner every night, stop spending time with your friends, and be there at his every beck and call. If you believe he might become a control freak after you get married, chances are you're right.
Do you really know who you're marrying? Have you spent enough time together that you trust everything he says? If you haven't been together long enough to really get to know him, then you might consider calling off the wedding. Who knows what kind of secrets he is keeping from you!
Don't be afraid to postpone or even cancel your wedding if you have serious doubts. People worry about what relatives and friends will think, or feel that they cannot cancel when the wedding is booked and paid for. However, it could prove more costly in the long run to go through with a wedding when you have concerns, and people who truly care about you will understand. Always remember that your life and future are at stake, and not just one single day. What would make you cancel your wedding?
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