Are you under pressure to get married? It can be your partner or parents who keep dropping heavy hints about you walking up the aisle, but whoever it is, being pressured to get married is very stressful. But how can you handle the situation with tact? Try these tips if you're under pressure to get married …
1. Never Give in
When you're under pressure to get married, it would be a serious mistake to give in. Both partners have to be 100% into the idea or you're heading for problems. Agreeing to get married just to keep the peace will make you feel resentful in the future. It's also not fair to your partner to marry them if you're not completely committed to both them and the idea of marriage.
2. Already Committed
Many people put pressure on their children to get married because of religious reasons or because they feel children should be born only within a marriage. But whether you decide to have children or not, you can still be just as committed to someone without a legal ceremony. And marrying someone won't cement a shaky relationship, but mess it up for good.
3. When You're Ready
Even if you do want to get married, the time may not be right for you just yet. Tell people you'll get married only if and when you're ready. Emotional blackmail may be used, and that's not on. If that happens to you, tell them you understand they feel that way, but you have to do what's right for you.
4. Different Views
Sometimes you get pressured to tie the knot when you just don't have any interest in the idea. If so, explain calmly that you hold different views on the subject and you can't get married just to please someone else. Tell them that you respect their views, but that those are their views, and you're equally entitled to have your own opinions - which may be different.
5. Being Sure
Nobody gets married thinking that it will fail. They certainly don't figure that they can always get divorced if it doesn't work out. But one thing you do need is to be absolutely sure that marriage is for you, and that you have picked the right person. So tell pressuring parents or partners that you need to be sure. Someone who loves you should understand.
6. Stressful
If people put you under pressure it's very stressful. Even gentle hints about mother of the bride outfits and wedding venues can get irritating if heard often enough. Ask them to stop because it's stressing you. It's more complicated when your partner is the one pressuring you, but try to explain that although you are not ready or don't want to get married, you still love them.
7. Divorce Statistics
Finally, you may have to be blunt and point out that divorce statistics are pretty high. A massive 50% of US marriages fail, and some of the rest must be miserable as well. So marriage doesn't guarantee that a relationship will last any longer than an unmarried one.
Marrying someone you love is a wonderful experience, but you can't get married to please someone else. You must be completely into the idea, and confident that you have found the right person for you. Have you ever been pressured into doing something that you knew was a mistake?
Frequently Asked Questions
- What can I do if I feel pressured to get married?
- You can communicate your feelings openly to those pressuring you, set boundaries, and seek support from friends or professionals. It's important to remember you have the right to make decisions about your own life.
- How do I deal with my family pressuring me to marry?
- Try to understand their perspective, but also explain your own. Be clear about your goals and reassure them of your happiness. Seeking a family counseling session might also help in bridging the understanding gap.
- Is it okay to not want to get married even if my parents pressure me?
- Absolutely. Marriage is a personal choice, and not everyone wishes to marry. Respecting your own desires and life choices is crucial, even if it means going against your parents’ expectations.
- What if I'm being pressured into marriage by my partner?
- Openly discuss your feelings with your partner. It's important that both of you are on the same page about such a significant commitment. If the pressure persists, consider relationship counseling or reevaluating the relationship.
- How can I escape the pressure to get married from my parents?
- Firmly, but gently, communicate your stance on marriage to your parents. Seek independence in various aspects of your life, and consider creating physical or emotional distance if the pressure becomes too much to handle.