7 Reasons Why Prenups Are a Bad Idea ...

7 Reasons Why Prenups Are a Bad Idea ...
By Aprille • Apr 2, 2011 • MD

I can understand why some people might decide on agreeing to a set of prenups, but I find them to be a generally bad idea. I'm sure certain circumstances might make prenups a good idea, however rare these circumstances might be. Here are 7 reasons why prenups are a bad idea, in my opinion.

7. Sign of a Lack of Trust

To me it seems like prenups show a great lack of trust between two people. It's as if both people feel the need to protect themselves against any harm that the other person might cause during the marriage. I imagine people who have been in bad relationships in the past feel the need for a prenup because they really don't trust anyone anymore.

6. Sign of Lack of Commitment

It's almost as if a prenup is a backup plan for someone who doesn't want to try and make a marriage work. If a person has nothing to lose, financially, then there's no worry about the marriage falling apart and that person being left with nothing. It's as if each person is saying, “Well, I don't care if the marriage falls apart because I'll be no worse off than I am now and you won't get a dime from me.”

5. Shows Planning for End Game Strategy

Drawing up prenups is like knowing how the marriage will end. The prenups are drawn, so there's no need to worry about how rocky things get. This thinking makes it seem like the marriage is a game between two people and the prenup has already determined who will be the winner over all.

4. It’s Planning for Defeat

I think prenups are like throwing in the towel before you ever get started. You may really want your marriage to work, but the prenup seems to be a symbol that you aren't expecting it to. How can a marriage be a successful relationship filled with trust when you've already planned how to protect yourself in the end?

3. It’ll Keep People in a Relationship Longer than They Should Be

If a prenup states that one spouse will end up with a lot more than the other spouse, then this might cause a couple to stay together longer than they should. One person may try to make the best of a situation because a divorce would mean the end of all financial support. Two individuals making each other miserable, all because of money is never a good thing.

2. Could Limit Your Chances for a Successful Relationship

This reason sort of fits in along the same lines of thinking as setting yourself up for defeat. Even if you completely trust one another, the drawing up of the prenups will always be in the back of your minds. I think this might be harder for the person who initially suggests that prenups be written. His/her spouse might go along willingly with the idea, but this might raise questions later: “Why doesn't he/she trust me?” “Does he/she expect this marriage to fail?”

1. They Can Backfire on You

Here's an example for this one: Let's say a couple get married and the husband is the wealthy one. What if the husband's wealth goes down hill and the wife suddenly becomes wealthy? With a prenup in place, the husband has ultimately stuck it to himself since he won't see any of his wife's money if they end up getting divorced. It's definitely something to think about!

The only way I can see a prenup arrangement being a good thing is if you are about to marry a complete stranger and you have lots of money that you don't want to risk losing. Other than that odd circumstance, I think these 7 reasons why prenups are a bad idea should make anyone think twice about agreeing to prenups. What do you think?

Top Photo Credit: TheHollywoodGossip

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Where Thoughts and Opinions Converge

  • Molly

    2022-03-04T06:04:34.569Z

    Agreed! In my case, I am paying for what a former spouse did, and what other peoples former spouses did to them. It will ALWSYS be a point of resentment in the back of my mind.
  • tom

    2011-04-18T16:30:54.000Z

    Yeah right, read consumer reports and any other reality based marrage web site. They all suggest prenup agreements. They key word is agreement and by law it must be fair. This opinion mentions nothing about upside, which is finacial piece of mind for both.
  • Leo-

    2021-09-27T13:24:13.253Z

    #6 It's not about trusting the other person at the time. Let's say I have 10 million dollars and I get married to a girl. Now it's 5 years into the marriage and for whatever reason she wants a divorce. Why is she entitled to 5 million dollars that I made? Can you think of any other situation, where, let's say your best friend doesn't want to be your friend anymore. Do they deserve 5 million dollars that you earned prior to even know them, no? Then why does my spouse? I would argue, in the case of one partner being disproportionately wealthy but especially with women, the divorce system encourages the woman to divorce because if she does divorce you she's won the lottery. Essentially, she's incentivized for the relationship NOT to work out. It should be about two people loving one another and wanting to spend the rest of their lives together and nothing more.
  • Leo-

    2021-09-27T13:34:08.436Z

    #1 I may trust the person standing in front of me now but I don't know the person they will be in 20 years. I know several men who married the love of their life only to find out 10 years down the road she changed into a completely different person.
  • PatriotDevilDog

    2023-03-08T15:52:03.910Z

    Obviously written by a hypergamous women, with her own nefarious back up / back door plan!
  • Damien

    2011-06-25T01:58:25.000Z

    I don't think people get prenups because they don't trust their spouse to be. They get them because they don't trust the judges to make the right decision! Just a thought!
  • Leo-

    2021-09-27T13:29:33.176Z

    #2 My commitment should be based on how dedicated I am to her through my love, support, friendship, loyalty etc not based on whether I'm willing to bet half my net worth that we will be together forever.
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